What’s the hardest part of being Indian American? #MyNariStory
Marrying two value systems that conflict and trying to find your identity, while dealing with other challenges life throws at you was probably the hardest part of being Indian-American. This was especially hard to reconcile while navigating relationships and love. While conceding to and meeting people the arranged marriage route I was equally inclined to find my soulmate through ‘regular’ means aka dating. After finding my then boyfriend on Tinder I had to convince my family really hard for him to be accepted and let us have the freedom to date without conversations about long term commitment and marriage. The days leading up to our engagement and the wedding were mentally quite taxing on both me and my family as we tried to come to a consensus and understand where each other was coming from. In the end I am glad I had an open family that trusted me and I could reason with to get what I want, while at the same time I see peers finding it especially hard to reconcile these two worlds. All I can say is you are not alone in your struggles and hopefully discussion and openness can enable women to help each other out while we make important life decisions.
As an Indian who was raised in India and currently spends a good portion of time in the US and India, I have the following observations:
Indians in the US follow the Indian cultural traditions and religious aspects (regardless of reliigon) than most Indians in urban India (I dont know about rural India) but cannot speak for them.
They cling to the image of what it was like when the left and are hence frozen in time. .India has changed in the meantime and they seem quite clueless. Esepcially the Mother Indias described by Mahesh Murthy are completely in the stone ages. The FOBs are getting there.
To my amazement, I find most Indian girl children learn traditional Indian dance when their parents who grew up in India never thought about it.
The children recite shlokas when their parents don;t know (or atleast didnt know of any when they were growing up). It seems a bit ridiculous to someone who lives in India.
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