My husband tells me what to do everyday. He is only concerned for my safety and wants to make sure that I am okay. Is this domestic violence?

He asks me who I am spending time with and tells me when to go out, sometimes he gets mad when I don’t answer his calls right away. He says he’s just concerned, but he gets really mad.

Curious Asked on December 3, 2016 in domestic violence.
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Controlling you, your every move, where you go, who you talk to, when you are back, getting mad when you don’t reply right away or pick up the phone are all manifestations of yielding power and control tactics on you. I am sure your husband loves you and cares for you but that does not mean he has the right to control your moves and get angry at you if you do not pick up the phone or text him back right away. Any excessive behavior is usually a red flag and can get worse as time progresses. You are a grown person and don’t need to be told what to do everyday – this desire to control your moves could become part of a bigger problem. Or it may not and only continue to manifest this way. Either way, if it makes YOU feel uncomfortable then you need to do something about it. Maybe start off by having a talk and expressing to him how it makes you feel. Whenever planning anything always ensure you have your safety in mind. So when you two sit down, sit closer to the door so you can escape in case the situation turns hostile. Don’t run into the home but outside so you can get help. Go to a neighbor/call the police right away if you are feeling unsafe. Try not to engage if he is hostile as it may make him angrier.

Always keep your safety (and that of your children) in mind.

Curious Answered on December 6, 2016.
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